Old Made New

Today for the first time in months, 

I went pickin'.

Couldn't find a yard sale, 

an estate sale,

or a flea market.

But I did find a great little shop

in a neighboring town called, 

The Exchange.

So many new things made to look old.

But I'm okay with that.

After all, isn't that who we all really are-

Old made NEW!

The handmade ladder is 

my favorite.

I had a real one gotten out of a tobacco barn.

And almost cried when I sold it.

So I found this one today 

and almost jumped up and down.

Sometimes I see a little of the old creep

back in.

I'm just glad God loves me enough

to not leave me like I am.

He is consistently making me new.

The jar says, "Perfect." 

It's not.

Got a few bubbles and some chipped glass.

But, it's beautiful.

Comforting to know that God loves cracked jars.

"This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord, 

Go down to the potter's house and there I will give you my message.

So I went down to the Potter's house and I saw him working at the wheel

But the pot he was shaping form the clay was marred in his hands, 

so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

Then the Word of the Lord came to me,

O house of Israel, can I not do with you as the potter does?

declares the Lord.  

Like clay in the hand of the potter, 

so are you in my hand."

Jeremiah 18:1-6

The Old Made New, 

Bonnie:)

Finding help among these stacked

books, The Message, NIV, NCV, and

mama's old Bible.

Here the written Word is never old, 

always being made new. 

His Eye is On the Sparrow

Knowing my love for the natural,

the owner of 

The Rusty Gate,

pulled out this darling

homemade, burlap banner.

"How do you like this?"

"Love it, how much?"

Snap!  It's mine!

Most of the banners, I find, are made for a mantle.

This one worked just fine 

for a favorite piece in my home. 

I got to thinking about the banner.

Nest.

Two little nests with bird eggs are attached.

I love the song, 

"His Eye is On the Sparrow.....

and I know He watches me...."

What a comforting thought.

I am reminded of the words of Jesus, 

"Look at the birds in the air.  They don't plant

or harvest or store food in barns, 

but your heavenly Father feeds them.

And you are more worth much more than the birds."

Matthew 6:26

I may not understand many things.

I pray for health

and God allows pain...to heal. 

I pray for peace

and He brings a storm...to still.

And His eye is always on me.

Another journal entry if you will allow me to bear my soul:

I awoke this morning with dizziness, nausea and afraid.  My hands were trembling and I don't feel like getting out of bed.    I want to cry, need to cry, need to bear my soul to someone.  Alone today.   I’m better alone when I’m this way.  Today, I sat in the break room, put my head in my hands. I cry out to God, “Save me.  I am going under if you don’t lift me up.”   After a few minutes, I am calm.  My hands are no longer shaking and I feel peace.

I need people, want people, but I want them to reach out to me.  Why can’t they see that I am hurting?  Where are all the people that I have loved and listened to and been there for?  They feel forsaken by me??? How do they think I feel?

 

I heard about Rick Warren’s son who committed suicide.  I wonder if Rick even had a clue.  So many lost souls out there lonely and in need of someone to reach out to them.

There go I, but by the grace of God!

 

I haven’t been able to read the Bible much.  I read the same verses over and over when I’ve tried.  I once again pick up my “Jesus Calling” book and find this verse, “Israel said, I will look to the Lord for help.  I will wait for God to save me; my God will hear me.  Enemy, don’t laugh at me.  I have fallen but I will get up again!  I sit in the shadow of trouble now, but the Lord will be a light to me.”  Micah 7:7-8

Jesus, you are my light and in you there is no darkness.  Won’t you be the light in this dark place?

I keep hearing the voice of God saying, “Word of God Speak.,” a song that I heard years ago.  I don’t remember the Words to the song, but I just felt in my spirit that God wanted me to listen for His Word to me.

So tonight, I am listening.  I am seeking.  I am desperate to hear from Him.

Last night after I had  already heard the voice of God say, “Word of God speak,”  Becky called and said, “You may want to listen to the song, “Word of God speak.”  God is with me, this I know.

It’s been another day of walking from faith to fear.  I tremble, I’m scared.  I miss my parents, I miss my children.  When I see a feeble man, I think of Daddy.  When I see a lost lady, I think of Mama and I saw both today. 

Tonight as I am seeking the face of God, I begin to sing the song, “I need thee oh, I need thee.  Every hour I need thee.  Oh bless me now my Savior, I come to Thee.”

I go to Youtube to listen to my favorite worship leader, Charles Billingsly who sings with a true heart of worship.  Right before my eyes is, “Hear My Cry, I Need Thee.”  Coincidence?  I don’t think so.

God is acutely aware of what I am going through.  He hears the cries of my heart.  He knows the constant battle of fears that taunt me day and night.  If He sees the sparrow when he falls, I know He will take care of me.  This, although I am not always sure of, this I know to be true in my innermost being. 

I believe, help thou my unbelief.

My little nest.

I'm glad He watches me, 

Bonnie

White Lace and Promises-Less Lace and More Promise

I really do miss pickin' and the thrill of the hunt.

The opportunity rarely affords itself now

that I am working outside of my small town.

It is in my blood so I will continue to 

read your blogs, and 

each time fall in love all over again

with the shabby, chippy, farmhouse and vintage.

In my upcoming blog entries, 

you will find 

LESS LACE AND MORE PROMISE.

I am reading a book by Sheila Walsh

that a friend loaned me,

The Heartache No One Sees.

I have found that not everyone 

can handle

honest confession.

So we cover up the pain, 

paint over the rusty and crusty,

to try to white-wash ourselves pretty.

Like the bucket, 

the old is still there.

I realize I may lose a few followers.

However, I feel that many 

of you will reach out 

and embrace the issues 

that I and possibly you deal with.

Not all of my story can be told,

but what I can share, I hope will bring

HELP, HOPE, AND HEALING.

After years as a TV host for the 700 Club,

Sheila Walsh seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth.

She was there one morning and the next she was gone.

She was admitted to a psychiatric hospital 

and given the diagnosis,
"severe clinical depression."

Someone said, 

"I would never have known."

That's a big part of the problem.

We have become masters at 

hiding the hidden pain.

We meet people who say, 

"How are you?"

Of course, we are fine.

Isn't that what most of us want to hear?

Sheila shares, 

"There is an epidemic of broken hearts

that are being carried around in private.

I believe that Christ wants to heal our broken hearts

and free our crushed spirits.

Some of us have carried our wounds for so long, 

we no longer see them; 

they are just a part of who we are.

  

At times in the past we might have looked

for healing and been misunderstood, 

so we hide our pain.

Are you a victim of well-meaning friends who told you

to get over it?

As far as they can tell, everything is going smoothly.

Have you tried to do it yourself, 

tidy up what's going on inside with a quick fix?

Do you struggle with shame?

Have you listened to those who come in Jesus' name,

promising healing for your wounded soul?"

The message we may share is what we 

think the world wants to hear.

"If you've got good news, I'll rejoice with you.

Otherwise, cry alone."

Is this the message we are giving?

Do you think that's what God wants from you?

Then who would want to come to a God like that?

Who would want to be in a relationship with a God

who demanded that we cover up 

all that is true about our hearts?

God is not interested in cover-ups."  Shiela Walsh

Depression is real.

The TV proclaims, 

"Depression Hurts."

Do we hit the button on our remotes and think,

"Oh, get over it.  Those symptoms?

We all have them?"

While that may be true to some degree,

for many is it not just a list,

it is a reality.

I believe in a God of Promise!

I believe that Jesus was broken

that He may heal the broken.

I have lived in that dark hole of depression.

It is real, and yes, 

IT HURTS.

The following is an entry from my journal:

Yesterday, I thought I was better.

  

Today, I’m in tears.

  

What’s wrong?  

I don’t know what’s wrong.

  

How can I fix it?  

I wish I knew.

  

If I could fix it, 

it would have been fixed it a long time ago.  

I feel so totally alone today.  

  

Yet, in the quiet place of my spirit, 

I hear the words of Jesus, 

“I am not alone for my Father is with me.”  

Jesus knew the Father. 

He was sure of whose He was.

So tonight I want to try to think of the things that I am sure of…

1.     I am sure that I am loved by an awesome God.

2.    I am sure that God is attentively aware of what I am going through-

He sees, He hears, He understands.

3.    I am sure that He will use the brokenness in my life to heal the broken.

4.    I am sure that I am His child.

 

5.    I am sure that in His eyes I am beautiful

 and He is captivated by my beauty.  

When he created me, He said, “This is very, very good.”

Although, right now I am not sure 

of how or when he will come,

I am sure He will. 

Although, I am unsure of where this path may lead,

I am sure He will lead.

  

Although I’m not sure if people care,

I am sure that He cares.  

This I know.

 

Oh, God, I am broken and in need of repair.  

I am torn and in need of mending.  

My heart is aching and I am in need of peace.  

Although my knees are shaking like a leaf.  

You are and will be my Prince of Peace.

So, I wait for you.

Believing God for Healing

Finding beauty among the ashes, 

Bonnie

Winter is Gone and Spring Has Come

First day it's felt like Spring-

not only seasonally, but in my spirit.

Underneath the dirt and darkness

is a Spring wanting to break through.

The winter has been long, cold, and dark.

And the sunshine is a breath of cool, fresh air.

 I feel that in my spirit today.

Remember the turquoise child's chair 

that I brought from a friend?

I think it makes the perfect plant stand.

Today was a spring cleaning day

and I almost got rid of the bucket.

Today, I just decided that the clutter needed to go!

I'm not only talking about the junk in 

the corner of every room and closet, 

but the junk in every little room, corner, and closet of my heart.

Bringing out a little touch of sunshine and flowers.

I feel my heart opening up a little bit.

As a small bud opens to the fresh sunshine,

I am believing that today is a 

new season in my life.

Finally got this little chest painted.

Hope to find some blue glass knobs.

Working on some cheap artwork

for the room

and still considering colors. 

Color-that's what Springtime feels like.

Today I feel color instead of darkness.

Thanks for hanging in there with 

me through this winter!

Bonnie:)

For Such a Time as This

Do you ever wonder God is up to?

Sometimes He seems either silent

or not really interested in the minute details

of life.

Sometimes it feels like limbo

is the only place you recognize.

Sometimes you wonder if 

He remembers the Call

as you do.

Sometimes you wonder if

the Call was meant for 

only a certain time

and you missed it.

Maybe it is now a missed opportunity.

And then for some unknown reason,

there's a person,

a situation,

a time,

a place

that presents itself in a way

that you know 

It is God.

Going back to work

has been a challenge,

a new adventure,

new opportunities.

Maybe the CALL was for such a time

as this.

This may take awhile.

I hope you will allow me to tell my story.

I just feel the need to...

be heard???

feel like I have purpose???

feel like God hasn't forgotten THE CALL.

 For the past 3 or 4 years,

I have accidentally  divinely

bumped into various people-

who have felt misplaced, unloved, unaccepted, unwanted

and sought to fill themselves 

with alcohol, drugs, sex, and all kinds of additions.

Only to find themselves rock bottom and in need of a savior.

Most of the ones I have met, 

have indeed found a SAVIOR and a PLACE of REFUGE

and willingly-almost desperate for someone to hear 

their story.

So the longing to make a difference 

somewhere outside of my comfort zone, 

began to grow in me and nag at me 

like a whining child

holding on to a mama's coat tail.

But where, God?

How, God?

I will not again bust down a closed door.

I am done doing it my own way, 

opening my own door

only to have it slam in my face.

So, this job lands me in a neighboring county.

Who walks in the door one day

but a man I had talked with two years ago?

He remembered me.

He remembered praying with me

about God's leading in my life.

And he shared with me what God was doing

in this very county.

A few weeks later, 

a flyer lands on my work station.

"Angels in Flight Recovery Center"

Coincidence???

So, I prayed,

"God if this is an open door, 

make it plain....

REALLY PLAIN!

and have Shannon (the guy from my store)

come in the bank."

The next day,

who walks in?

None other than the same guy!

"Ok, God, I'm about to get it here, 

but I need to be sure, 

If this is from you,

let the director of the home come in."

In less than three minutes,

in walks the director of the home.

To say

that I am humbled and overwhelmed 

with the possibility of ministry

is an understatement.

I absolutely fell in love with these girls.

As I spoke, 

all nodded their heads in agreement

that they had been labeled, 

abused, crazy, unloved, unwanted, an addict.

Some wiped tears from their eyes,

while others hid their faces.

A slumped shoulder, 

a blank stare

and finally a look that said, 

"I'm hearing you.  I'm listening.  

I want to feel like a princess.

I want to know that I am a Child of the Most High God."

I asked, 

"How do you see yourself?

Who is the you that nobody sees?"

One girl dropped her head.

One girl walked out.

One girl spoke for some of the others, 

"In my heart, I know I am a good person.

Today.  I don't know what I will be tomorrow, 

but Today I know who I am."

I said,

"If you have invited Jesus into your heart, 

You are a Child of the King,

and He is captivated by your beauty."

Nods, smiles, tears...

Including mine.

God, where are you???

What have you been waiting for???

"This my child, this.

You weren't ready before.

You are here, for such a time as this."

He's not finished with me yet. 

Sometimes God Whispers

Sometimes God Whispers

Oh how we love the times when 

God speaks like thunder-

with the strong stirrings that 

shake the core of our being

and we are acutely aware of His Presence.

Oh, how we even love the times when

He speaks with a gentle nudge,

a gentle impression in our spirits

that says, "This is the way, walk in it."

But what about those times, 

when we can't hear Him, 

can't feel Him, 

can't trace His hand.

Sometimes God Whispers.

I'm posting a video.

The recording artist is my cousin

and grew up singing with my daughter

in various venues.  

She is now a solo artist.

The leading roles in the video are my grandson Connor

and my daughter in law, Christina.

I hope you will enjoy
the above link. 

Lindsay Huggins God Whispers