Do you ever wonder God is up to?
Sometimes He seems either silent
or not really interested in the minute details
of life.
Sometimes it feels like limbo
is the only place you recognize.
Sometimes you wonder if
He remembers the Call
as you do.
Sometimes you wonder if
the Call was meant for
only a certain time
and you missed it.
Maybe it is now a missed opportunity.
And then for some unknown reason,
there's a person,
a situation,
a time,
a place
that presents itself in a way
that you know
It is God.
Going back to work
has been a challenge,
a new adventure,
new opportunities.
Maybe the CALL was for such a time
as this.
This may take awhile.
I hope you will allow me to tell my story.
I just feel the need to...
be heard???
feel like I have purpose???
feel like God hasn't forgotten THE CALL.
For the past 3 or 4 years,
I have accidentally divinely
bumped into various people-
who have felt misplaced, unloved, unaccepted, unwanted
and sought to fill themselves
with alcohol, drugs, sex, and all kinds of additions.
Only to find themselves rock bottom and in need of a savior.
Most of the ones I have met,
have indeed found a SAVIOR and a PLACE of REFUGE
and willingly-almost desperate for someone to hear
their story.
So the longing to make a difference
somewhere outside of my comfort zone,
began to grow in me and nag at me
like a whining child
holding on to a mama's coat tail.
But where, God?
How, God?
I will not again bust down a closed door.
I am done doing it my own way,
opening my own door
only to have it slam in my face.
So, this job lands me in a neighboring county.
Who walks in the door one day
but a man I had talked with two years ago?
He remembered me.
He remembered praying with me
about God's leading in my life.
And he shared with me what God was doing
in this very county.
A few weeks later,
a flyer lands on my work station.
"Angels in Flight Recovery Center"
Coincidence???
So, I prayed,
"God if this is an open door,
make it plain....
REALLY PLAIN!
and have Shannon (the guy from my store)
come in the bank."
The next day,
who walks in?
None other than the same guy!
"Ok, God, I'm about to get it here,
but I need to be sure,
If this is from you,
let the director of the home come in."
In less than three minutes,
in walks the director of the home.
To say
that I am humbled and overwhelmed
with the possibility of ministry
is an understatement.
I absolutely fell in love with these girls.
As I spoke,
all nodded their heads in agreement
that they had been labeled,
abused, crazy, unloved, unwanted, an addict.
Some wiped tears from their eyes,
while others hid their faces.
A slumped shoulder,
a blank stare
and finally a look that said,
"I'm hearing you. I'm listening.
I want to feel like a princess.
I want to know that I am a Child of the Most High God."
I asked,
"How do you see yourself?
Who is the you that nobody sees?"
One girl dropped her head.
One girl walked out.
One girl spoke for some of the others,
"In my heart, I know I am a good person.
Today. I don't know what I will be tomorrow,
but Today I know who I am."
I said,
"If you have invited Jesus into your heart,
You are a Child of the King,
and He is captivated by your beauty."
Nods, smiles, tears...
Including mine.
God, where are you???
What have you been waiting for???
"This my child, this.
You weren't ready before.
You are here, for such a time as this."
He's not finished with me yet.
My friend...I can so understand everything you have said. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder where God is and WHY isn't He doing WHAT I WANT HIM TO DO!
ReplyDeleteLittle by little though I'm moving towards a better place of calm and peace. My son is the one who called and told me about Rick Warren's son and I was moved that HE WAS MOVED. I can't help but believe that God allows things into our lives that ultimately bring us to a place of total dependence upon Him.
You are such an amazing writer...I hope one day you'll write a book.
Love, Rebecca
I think this is so thought producing. I think we are always wondering what we are supposed to be doing- what is our time and what is God's time? Great post- you write beautifully-- xo Diana
ReplyDeleteA beautiful post. It is good to see you back. Bonnie
ReplyDelete