An Event-Filled Week

A few things have happened since my last post. 

First thing is, I made the decision to no longer to keep my baby girl on a daily basis. Doing so, I was overcome with anxiety, fear, and guilt. A decision that hurts my family feels selfish. I was anxious because I had to tell my daughter. I am afraid because I know that my daughter faces challenges everyday that most young mothers take for granted, and all of the above added more guilt.

At this point in my life, it is important for me to take care of myself too. I saw my doctor last week. She feels that most of my health problems are stress-related. I'll be honest, the change from a small rural town to big city living has not been what I expected. I am away from home almost 12 hours some days and 10 hours everyday. I almost go to sleep coming and going and I frequently have panic attacks because of the traffic.

I was rear-ended on Wednesday and I thought I was having a heart-attack. It Really just knocked the breath out of me and I am so grateful.

Please pray for provision-the best childcare for my baby and decisions that may need to be made for my daughter's well-being and another source of income for Mr. H and me.

Thank God my niece was not with me that morning. She was a big help through out the week.

Connor and Cora enjoyed the flavored ice more than they did the splash pad. Baby Harp enjoyed sidewalk chalk and Connor and Sarah took to a movie, The Secret Life of Pets.

I am anxious to read about what is going on in your lives but I have my mother in law for the next two weeks and friends from home the next weekend. I will be away for awhile once again. Will catch up with you soon. 

Family Comes to Town

My sister and family came to town. My niece is staying with me this week. We spent most of Saturday giving our little abode a good cleaning. 

Although certainly not a large house, it has more square footage than our home back home. You can feel it too when you start to clean. 

We are now watering weeds but have some grass, and a few flower bushes are actually budding. Who would figure that anything could grow in this heat wave! 

These two are enjoying each other. Little bit wouldn't have anything to do with me 

She fell in love with her big cousin. I enjoyed my sister even if it was for a brief moment. I look forward to a week with my niece.

Our buddy sang in church yesterday.

This little spunky chic keeps us on our toes.

Love them all so much!

Word and Wees

Thank you to those who have prayed for me this week. Sometimes the reality of life, illness and death hits you like an unexpected break of a wave on the ocean. 

I have so many hurting friends at home. When you move away you are alone in your grief and prayers and confusion. However, I know "I am not alone for my Father is with me."

I did what I do when I'm stressed (besides eat), I paint. I did it! I painted my front door.

From blue...

...to gray.

If you could see the whole house, you could see that the blue didn't work. I'll show you in another post. Our house needed some continuity. I'm better satisfied. 

My garage is full of projects that I am giving away today.

Yes, that would be me! Never-finish- what-you-started. The chest would require more than I'm willing to give so I'll give-as in- give it away. It has a thick coat of enamel paint that I thought I could cover with chalk paint. Ugh!

I'm getting $10 for the splintered shutter that I found by the side of the road.  

I'm keeping the shorter one.

Took this little bit to the splash pad yesterday.

She made a friend.

Afraid at first,

It didn't take her long to enjoy!

Thanks for letting me share my woes and wees.

Roses Will Bloom Again...Again

I used this title once before when I was writing about my parents.

The song was written by a friend of a friend

and recorded several years ago by Jeff and Sheri Easter.

I need reminding today that Roses Will Bloom Again.

I got a call yesterday morning from a friend asking me to pray 

for another friend who was in ICU and on a ventilater.

I had taken a facebook break and had no idea what was going on back home. 

It didn't look good...she's had you on her mind for several days...heart attack...

TTP...bone marrow test...

Everything just kinda ran together.  My thoughts were rambled.

"What do you think I should do?"

"Give her daughter a call."

My connection with Shirley was a brief one in the span of eternity.

She worked around the corner from me.  She owned a jewelry shop

and I loved to visit on my lunch hour.  She had a young daughter the age of mine.

They went to different schools.

She helped me choose my daughter's first charm bracelet.

Shop closed and we frequently ran into each other at Walmart,

the only place in town to shop.

...

Our kids enter middle school.

Our lives merge again.

Briefly, nevertheless connected for a moment.

...

High School Theatre

Enter "Frenchie" and "Sandy."

For those years, we never missed a rehearsal, never missed a show, 

never missed it!!!

We talked and laughed and the director had to call us down a time or two, 

a lasting connection.

Shirley said, "Does it get any better than this?"

I know, right?

Watching our girls whom we love better than life, 

do what they love better than life!

They were Bigger than LIFE!

Graduation, babies, infertility and we'd frequently run into each in Walmart.

"How's Miriam?"

"How's Christy?"

"Were those years not the best???"

"The best!"

Fast Forward 2015

Washington County High School 

Theatre Reunion

Frenchie and Sandi are reunited.

I'm making my way out of the theatre at the last show.

I hear someone call my name!

Big Smile.  Big Hug.

"Missed you."

"Missed you."

"Was this not the best! Does it get any better than this?"

"Never!"

A brief conversation with her daughter.

"Oh, Mrs. Bonnie, thank you so much for calling.

We were talking about you a few days ago."

On the vent...so she can rest...sweet, sweet girl

who loves the Lord and loves her mama.

"Can I pray with you?"

I have no idea what I said.  It honestly felt like empty words spoken.

I even told the Lord that!

Teach Sunday School.  Asked the class to pray. I left early with that nagging pain 

and decided that maybe I just needed to be home so I could pray.

I prayed, felt nothing.  Told the Lord that!

In the middle of the prayers, I get a text...

"She's gone."

What???

My thoughts are all over the place. 

You were thinking of me?

A brief connection can last a lifetime.

Why in those final moments did she think of me?

I can't wrap my mind around it. 

"Be still, my soul and know that He is God."

Bonnie

(I'm bringing out my pink roses for sure!)

Dreaming

Guess what??? I got it! 

That's right, $10!

Look at this! Is it not beautiful!

I don't know if I have ever been more excited about a piece than this! 

When I think about this room, I hear little girls squealing about secrets told. I imagine sleepovers and giggles and breakups and drying tears from broken hearts.

This room is a work in progress. It may take months for it to come together but the ideas are rolling around in that empty space between my ears.  

I'm dreaming. My little girls will too.

Small Space Bath

Can anyone else relate to how hard it is to sit and do nothing?

I took a fall on the 4th and instead of getting better, 

I have gotten worse.

I fell on my bottom, down the garage steps. 

The spams moved from my tail bone to my head, 

each day, a different ailment I could handle...

until... they started late Thursday evening in my neck

and yesterday moved to my head.

By last night, I had a full-blown migraine.

My daughter came home from work early to relieve me. 

I didn't think I'd make the drive home. 

I took some drugs and went to bed.

I awoke at 8:00 pm.

It was our anniversary and having cooked all week, 

Mr. H was going to take me to Longhorns, my favorite. 

It's bad when I refuse Parmesan Crusted Chicken.

This morning I did manage to snap a shot of our small bath.

I am decorating with stuff I already had. 

Again, just moving things around.

I like decorating small spaces.

You've seen all of this. 

I bought these pieces when I moved here last year. 

The best deal I've found yet!

I got them from a Yard Sale at Amy at Farmhouse Dreams.

http://kinserhome.blogspot.com/

She's one of my favorite decor blogs.

She doesn't post much on her blog now. 

She, as many others, has since moved to Instagram.

It's easier and no pressure to write.

I understand that now that I am keeping Harper bug.

I'm a wordy-person.

The lighting on this one is poor but I didn't feel like editing. 

My canning jars float from room to room as does 

the metal basket.  I think the basket has found it's home. 

This is my make-up room.  Mr. H doesn't like my clutter.

Thank God for baskets under the sink.

It's not always this neat.  

Anybody else, hide things away for photos?

Now, I'm back to resting my brain. 

Thinking makes my head hurt.

That's no surprise. 

I think I have to deliberately think now anyway.

I guess now that's my mama got quieter as she aged. 

Happy Saturday!

Again, thanks Simply Linda for the summer siggy.

Canvas Creations for the Girls'Room

I'm turning the second spare bedroom into a room for my girls.

I had a crafty idea moment yesterday.

I am so happy with how they turned out. "C" for Cora and "H" for Harper.

I'm next in line for a Pink chandelier on Varage Sale. Guess what the price is??? Ten dollars!!! Yes, $10!  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

My room at home was painted Blush Pink. The paint on the art work was Ballet Slippers. I think I'd like the job of making up names for colors.

Let's see...Pretty in Pink...an original, huh?

Red Berries, Blue Berries and White

The strawberries this year have been yummy. 

I'm not a big lover of blueberries but Little-bit is. She would eat a whole carton if I'd let her.

Thought I'd just play around with my pretties.

This is pretty.

This is prettier. I wish I had this in color. She was red, white and blue too!

The Nautical Room

I haven't been able to download photos to the computer so I'm gonna post by phone again. I've been selling this and buying that for several weeks. It's come out fairly even.

I'm excited about the Nautical room. It actually houses my husband's desk so it's the bedroom/office.

I'm only showing you what I want you to see. Hee! Hee! You can't look under the bed, in the closet or on the desk. You can't peek under the covers.

I paid $5 for the picture of the framed anchors. It's a heavy piece. It had a few scratches so it was a mark-down, mark-down.

It was a good day with the kiddos. I fell down the garage steps and busted it looking for another doll for the girls. I thought I had cracked my tailbone but I'm just bruised from head to toe and that includes my ego. It literally and figuratively scared the pee out of me. Yelp! That would be me!

We finished the evening watching fireworks from our deck. After all these years, the Mister and I have something we enjoy doing together...sitting on the back porch.  Are we getting old or just

finally learning how to enjoy life?  Maybe both. I think they come together.

See ya soon!

Cotton, Canning Jars and Waving Flags

It has been a quiet weekend, 

one that I've needed badly.

I had intended to paint, clean, unpack. 

Instead, I've done very little. 

I did hang some pictures in my boy's room. 

I'm doing a nautical room.

My photos will not download. 

Again, computer issues.

This is as close to Americana as I could do this year. 

Picking cotton and canning is definitely an American pasttime.

Mr. H will be grilling ribs and smoking a Boston Butt tomorrow.

I just found out today that no one around here calls the pig a "Boston Butt."

It's just BBQ, brisket or pulled pork.

This is one of the homes we saw on our tour around Beaufort, SC.

I'll be sharing more in a few days. 

A waving American flag and the Star, Spangled Banner

always brings me tears and chill bumps.

Tomorrow we are chilling it with Mr. H grilling it. 

Since I tend to get all stressed about having everything perfect

and creating a big event which normally brings on panic and mania, 

we have told the kids to come when they want, bring what they want,

and we'll have what we want.  

I have children who are polar extremes. 

One wants everything prompt and right on time, everything organized 

and the other is a little/much/too laid back.

They drive each other crazy.  I have this horrible fear 

that these difference will one day divide them. 

I guess I am living my own reality with family.

That's the little bit of the stress that has come with living here. 

Tomorrow is a step in learning to relax. 

Thanking God for the freedoms we enjoy daily.

Bonnie:)

BTW, Tennessee loves fireworks. Our neighbors put on a big show!

It was nearly professional!

Gathering Around the Table

I've heard that it takes a year to adjust to moving. 

That means that it's gonna take two years 

since this is our second move in two years. 

I'm not complaining, really I'm not. 

I'm beyond grateful...

just tired.

I had hoped to give you a patriotic tablescape

but it just ain't happening this year. 

What better place to gather than around the table.

I've been prayed for around the family table,

I've seen others prayed for, 

and I've prayed for a few around mine.

Those are some of my best memories.

A cotton stalk and canning jars, 

I think that's very patriotic.

It's what's on my table tonight.

Say a prayer for me, will you?

The doc has decided due to TN regulations 

that I need a medication change. 

I did not go to sleep before 4am and I 

have been a nervous wreck all day. 

Now, my eye is twitching so I must stop.

This is when I wish I'd never gotten a diagnosis.

I may have been in an institution, but 

I feel like I'm in prison now anyway. 

I'm teasing. 

I'm laughing about it. 

Honestly, it's something that I've able to joke about. 

Shoot! I'm certifiable!

I guess there will be a lot of gatherings this weekend. 

Enjoy your table.