First thing is, I made the decision to no longer to keep my baby girl on a daily basis. Doing so, I was overcome with anxiety, fear, and guilt. A decision that hurts my family feels selfish. I was anxious because I had to tell my daughter. I am afraid because I know that my daughter faces challenges everyday that most young mothers take for granted, and all of the above added more guilt.
At this point in my life, it is important for me to take care of myself too. I saw my doctor last week. She feels that most of my health problems are stress-related. I'll be honest, the change from a small rural town to big city living has not been what I expected. I am away from home almost 12 hours some days and 10 hours everyday. I almost go to sleep coming and going and I frequently have panic attacks because of the traffic.
I was rear-ended on Wednesday and I thought I was having a heart-attack. It Really just knocked the breath out of me and I am so grateful.
Please pray for provision-the best childcare for my baby and decisions that may need to be made for my daughter's well-being and another source of income for Mr. H and me.
Thank God my niece was not with me that morning. She was a big help through out the week.
I am anxious to read about what is going on in your lives but I have my mother in law for the next two weeks and friends from home the next weekend. I will be away for awhile once again. Will catch up with you soon.
Hang in there my friend. sometimes we have to do whats best and take care of ourselves! : ) Sorry about your accident. I've been there.
ReplyDeleteHave a great week.
Thankful you were not seriously injured. I've been experiencing stress driving too! So many not paying attention now a days. Secret Life of Pets is a cute movie :-) Deep breathes things will get better.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Jill
My dear friend,
ReplyDeleteRest assured I will pray for all your intentions.
And for peace in your heart.
Anxiety is painful in many ways.
Hugs!
Taking care of yourself if so very important. I will be praying that God opens doors for the perfect solutions pertaining to your daughter and your grandchild. HE is Able!! Praying also that you allow God to heal your heart and give you peace! Blessings, Cindy xo
ReplyDeleteOh, I certainly understand your anxiety driving in a city and living in one. I'm a small town girl too and I hate driving in even large towns. I'm so glad that you were okay after the car accident and that your car isn't too damaged. I'll keep you in prayer regarding your finances and also for child care for the little one. I certainly can understand you having to make a decision like that. If we don't take care of ourselves, we aren't much good to others anyway. Have a good visit with everyone.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you weren't hurt, Bonnie. Keeping you in prayer, you certainty have had a lot on your plate...and you are 100% correct--you have to take care of yourself...keeping your daughter in prayer as she finds an alternative...I pray that doesn't cause a rift in your relationship...praying for understanding for both of you...love you sweet friend.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, although I know it must have broken your heart to have given up watching Harper full-time, I admire your courage and wise decision to take care of yourself! What good are you going to be to your family if you are neglecting your health and well being? I know that your family treasures you and they certainly understand this. Praise the Lord that you were not injured during your accident....God was looking out for you! I would have so loved to have gotten a chance to see you while we were in TN over the weekend. There will be that one time when we make it happen! Love you, friend ♥
ReplyDeleteHow thankful we all are that you where not injured. Heavy traffic can be panic inducing. I pray that you can take care of yourself and be comforted. And may your daughter find an alternative that safe for the child(ren) and easy on the pocketbook. God knows, and God cares. "God's got this."
ReplyDeleteLuv ya ~:)
We have to take care of ourselves. I am sure the Lord guided you in your decisions. Sorry about the accident but SO happy that you weren't hurt. Sending HUGS and PRAYERS your way.
ReplyDeleteI hope for the best my dear♥ Take care of yourself ♥
ReplyDeletesummerdaisy.net
Stress is a silent killer! I am glad that you are taking steps toward a healthier life. I understand how you are feeling torn, but you must remember that you are the grandmother not the mother. The primary care giving responsibilities must fall on the mother. I see so many grandmothers taking on that role and it seems a bit unfair in your older years. I think that's why God made child bearing years for the young! Ha! I'm sure things will eventually work out. I'm sorry that you were in a car accident! Glad you weren't hurt.
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