Home...a place in the heart.

When we first moved to Nashville, I felt like we were on vacation-pool, new apartment with all new, sparkly appliances and hardware, kids and ice cream whenever I wanted, AM coffee and caramel creamer as much as I liked and a 2-3 hour quiet time.  Hummmm.  The mountain view was perfect.  An outlet mall 15 miles one way and another 30 miles the other way.  Church with no commitment and my chance in 55 years to just "Be." I went to the grocery store and didn't see anyone I knew and it was nice.  Starting over in a place "where NOBODY knew my name,"  (SINGING to the tune of Cheers.)

A therapist once told me, "You've never left home."  With the move, I left home and was experiencing a new kind of freedom.  I heard recently that we all run from home, only to search frantically to find a way back.  Like going on vacation, we long to get away but are so happy to return to the familiar.

About 6 months into the journey, I began to long for home, the familiar, to run into someone I knew at the grocery store, to find a place of community.  I longed to go "where EVERYBODY knows your name."

We bought a new house.  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine a new home or rather, a new "house."  It wasn't "home." Grateful? Yes, but again, it wasn't home. The pictures on the wall were the same, a pink bedroom with my favorite pieces of milk glass and my favorite cabinet full of ironstone.  But. Not. Home.

There was a restlessness in me to go home.  But "home" was no longer there.  Mama and Daddy and the home place were gone and my little home where we raised our children was now occupied with new owners, a new little boy to run the small hall, throw a ball, and shoot hoops.

Please don't get me wrong, the children are home, but God is teaching that I can find "home" in Him alone. Still, holidays are hard.  The weekend of Labor Day the children were busy with children and homes of their own so we decided to leave "home" for a couple of days. 

Just a few miles down the road (an hour's drive), is Burgess Falls State Park. 

 

There's nothing like the rushing water to calm the restless soul.

 



We made several stops along the way finding rest in the cleft of a rock.

There was a fence to keep us from falling off the side of the mountain.  I'm telling you, it was scary at times and I'm not usually afraid of heights.  However, I've got to know that I have something or someone who is going to catch me if I fall.

 

Just when we thought we were almost there, we saw another hill to climb.  I asked a sojourners coming down how close we were.  Her reply, "Oh, not far.  About 1/2 there."  Really?

 

 

 

We could soon see the view from the top. It was breathtakingly beautiful. We began the journey back and the road was even and less rocky.  We relaxed and took a deep breath, we were headed home.

 

 

But this!!!  A baby copperhead. 

 

I learned a little bit on our trip away from home. 

 

1.  I thought at first that maybe we'd stay near the waters and just enjoy the rest.  Of course, there was more to see, something bigger than we could imagine.  God doesn't want us to stay safe.  Rest is brief and there will be more paths to walk and hills to climb before we get to the top.

 

2.  It's okay to rest awhile. When the journey gets rocky, he will hide us in the depths of His love and we will know the safety of the Rock.

 

3.  There will be more hills to climb before we get to the top, and beauty will be beyond what we can comprehend on this journey.

 

4.  On our journey "home," we must be sober and alert. I did have a thought that maybe there was danger off the path and I didn't dare wander, but when the road seemed easy, I became less careful.  Someone else observed the danger first.  Along the path, we need sojourners who will point out the pitfalls ahead. 

 

This weekend is our ladies retreat.  I'm so in need of retreat, escape, getaway to relax and regroup, rethink.  That's the RE in retreat, I guess.

 

My second born granddaughter, is always full of life.  My time now with the babies is less with me working but she drops by occasionally to see me.  She loves talking to our adult care members.  They enjoy her.  This was my birthday so it was an extra special because she came to see me.

 

 

 



 

David enjoyed Grandparent's Day.  I rarely get to attend any activities with the children during the week.  My job is very demanding, and I wonder sometimes if it's worth it. I love it, and I know that God gave it to me.  It's providing for our needs.  If I had not gotten this job, I imagine we would have been heading back to Georgia.  David was giving our situation until July to change.  I started to work with this new company on July 1.  I have to believe that for now, this is where I belong.  David is still missing "home." It sometimes honestly hurts me that he hasn't found "home" with me and the kids, but he's got to work through it's meaning just like I've had to.

 

 

Who can resist this smile?  I mean, really!  This is home to me!

My decorating is minimal these days.  Blogging will be more about the "home" of my heart.  I still try to make it feel like my other home, but this is the new and I'm learning that it's really not a place or a people. It's more what's in the heart, a state of peace...peace with our Father and His family...and of course, mine too.