My JOY Jar

JOY is just popping up everywhere-

literally and figuratively.

Someone invited me to prayer time yesterday.

You know how we women are.

I am the I-don't-meet-a-stranger kinda woman.

I can enter in most any conversation,

but in certain "Christian" women groups, 

well, let's just say, I pull back.

Especially when the group is already established

and I am the outsider. 

I know, I know, there are no outsiders in Christ, 

you understand what I mean. 

If you don't, don't judge me.

You may find yourself there at some time or another. 

Annnnnyway.

I give reasons as to why I don't think I can stay.

Blah, blah, blah.

And my friend says, 

"Oh, you are just letting the devil defeat you."

With some people I have nerve enough to be myself

and I say, "Really???"

I go on to insist that I pray and it has nothing to do with the devil.

Really???

Another person invites me,

a not-so-close friend.

Eeeek.  

I don't want to go! I can pray just fine by myself!

Nudge, nudge, nudge from the Holy Spirit.

Another eeeek!

Okay, okay, okay.

Around the room, need for prayers expressed.

Bonnie???

Yes????

Okay, okay, I'm getting it, Lord.

I ask for prayer for the spiritual warfare that I have been in for a year.

You know, the kind where you are slandered and your name has been trashed

and your witness has been tarnished by the words of others?

The kind where the Lord said, 

"I will fight for you, you need only to be still."

And you've let Him fight it, but you're tired.  Really tired.

You want it to stop and it only gets worse.

A very godly lady whom I have the utmost confidence in asks me, 

"Have you lost your joy?"

What??? Where in the world did that come from???

Lost my JOY?

I said, "No, I have joy.  I'm just now getting it back."

"Really?" the Lord is whispering now.

Really?

The rest of the story will have to wait.

So, I've made myself a JOY jar.

I'm asking God to give me JOY in every circumstance, 

when I'm torn down or lifted up, 

when I'm accepted and when I feel rejected, 

when I laugh and when I cry, 

when I have faith and when I'm in fear.

Lord, help me to choose JOY.