Wednesday, April 17, 2013

White Lace and Promises-Less Lace and More Promise

I really do miss pickin' and the thrill of the hunt.
The opportunity rarely affords itself now
that I am working outside of my small town.

It is in my blood so I will continue to 
read your blogs, and 
each time fall in love all over again
with the shabby, chippy, farmhouse and vintage.

In my upcoming blog entries, 
you will find 

I am reading a book by Sheila Walsh
that a friend loaned me,
The Heartache No One Sees.

I have found that not everyone 
can handle
honest confession.

So we cover up the pain, 
paint over the rusty and crusty,
to try to white-wash ourselves pretty.
Like the bucket, 
the old is still there.

I realize I may lose a few followers.
However, I feel that many 
of you will reach out 
and embrace the issues 
that I and possibly you deal with.

Not all of my story can be told,
but what I can share, I hope will bring

After years as a TV host for the 700 Club,
Sheila Walsh seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth.
She was there one morning and the next she was gone.
She was admitted to a psychiatric hospital 
and given the diagnosis,
"severe clinical depression."

Someone said, 
"I would never have known."

That's a big part of the problem.
We have become masters at 
hiding the hidden pain.
We meet people who say, 
"How are you?"
Of course, we are fine.
Isn't that what most of us want to hear?

Sheila shares, 
"There is an epidemic of broken hearts
that are being carried around in private.
I believe that Christ wants to heal our broken hearts
and free our crushed spirits.

Some of us have carried our wounds for so long, 
we no longer see them; 
they are just a part of who we are.
At times in the past we might have looked
for healing and been misunderstood, 
so we hide our pain.

Are you a victim of well-meaning friends who told you
to get over it?
As far as they can tell, everything is going smoothly.

Have you tried to do it yourself, 
tidy up what's going on inside with a quick fix?

Do you struggle with shame?

Have you listened to those who come in Jesus' name,
promising healing for your wounded soul?"

The message we may share is what we 
think the world wants to hear.
"If you've got good news, I'll rejoice with you.
Otherwise, cry alone."

Is this the message we are giving?
Do you think that's what God wants from you?
Then who would want to come to a God like that?
Who would want to be in a relationship with a God
who demanded that we cover up 
all that is true about our hearts?

God is not interested in cover-ups."  Shiela Walsh

Depression is real.
The TV proclaims, 
"Depression Hurts."

Do we hit the button on our remotes and think,
"Oh, get over it.  Those symptoms?
We all have them?"

While that may be true to some degree,
for many is it not just a list,
it is a reality.

I believe in a God of Promise!
I believe that Jesus was broken
that He may heal the broken.

I have lived in that dark hole of depression.
It is real, and yes, 

The following is an entry from my journal:

Yesterday, I thought I was better.
Today, I’m in tears.
What’s wrong?  
I don’t know what’s wrong.
How can I fix it?  
I wish I knew.
If I could fix it, 
it would have been fixed it a long time ago.  

I feel so totally alone today.  
Yet, in the quiet place of my spirit, 
I hear the words of Jesus, 
“I am not alone for my Father is with me.”  

Jesus knew the Father. 
He was sure of whose He was.

So tonight I want to try to think of the things that I am sure of…

1.     I am sure that I am loved by an awesome God.

2.    I am sure that God is attentively aware of what I am going through-
He sees, He hears, He understands.

3.    I am sure that He will use the brokenness in my life to heal the broken.

4.    I am sure that I am His child.
5.    I am sure that in His eyes I am beautiful
 and He is captivated by my beauty.  
When he created me, He said, “This is very, very good.”

Although, right now I am not sure 
of how or when he will come,

I am sure He will. 

Although, I am unsure of where this path may lead,

I am sure He will lead.
Although I’m not sure if people care,

I am sure that He cares.  

This I know.
Oh, God, I am broken and in need of repair.  
I am torn and in need of mending.  
My heart is aching and I am in need of peace.  

Although my knees are shaking like a leaf.  
You are and will be my Prince of Peace.

So, I wait for you.

Believing God for Healing

Finding beauty among the ashes, 



  1. Dear Bonnie, I hope you find yourself in a better place. Depression is a terrible thing to bear and few people understand it unless they have experienced it themselves. God bless you.

  2. I have never personally dealt with real depression,however I have seen the suffering it brings. Keeping you in my heart.

  3. God bless you, Bonnie. I have two close friends that deal with deep, chronic depression and know that while I might distract them for a while I cannot lighten their burden. My husband deals with this on a daily basis as he counsels others. My heart aches for you- write it out-get it out-and, hopefully, find some peace. xo Diana


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