Saturday, December 9, 2017

I Need a Silent Night

There are just some things you can't post on Facebook.  There are just things that are safer said on the blog.  Agree?  Now, I know that since my settings are not private that anyone can choose to stalk me, but I prefer to think that I am talking to friends here. 

It feels safe here to say some of these things...

I am exhausted.  I'm beyond tired.  My job is beyond exhausting.  Last evening I went to bed at 9pm and got up at 9am.  Let me share with you an ordinary day...

Up at 6:00 (if I don't have to wash my hair. not so bad.  i can handle this.)
Leave at 6:30
Hardee's 7:00 (order, eat in car, put make-up on in car)
Arrive at work 7:15 (open blinds, switch sign to open, lights on, heat on, food for the day on, take out food for next day, coffee on, post menu for the day, check phone messages, check email, take out name tags for the day)
First member arrives at 7:30, Second member arrives at 7:45...
Get organized for the day...(schedule for activities posted for assistants with cognitive activities on table and physical activity supplies on table.)
Fix breakfast for members beginning at 8:30
Members to the bathroom at 9:00 (usually done by me because assistant has not arrived and these are the most difficult ones)  before Current Events, devotion, exercise. (I do current events and devotion which are the things I love the most!)
10:00-11:00 (Assistant does exercise and I may or may not do cognitive activity which is next on the schedule while continuing to redirect members, and direct and train activity assistant who is a young girl with 2 babies who may or may not be on time and may or may not be an activity assistant who needs assistance.  whew!  got me???)
11:00 Other assistant arrives...on time...ready...the best!.........pregnant now.  the best.  but had to go part time.  (sigh)  sad. sad. sad, but happy, happy for her because she's waited for years and now has a normal pregnancy.  She starts next activity.  Happy me.  Happy members.  They love her.
11:30 Begin preparing for lunch...

I've decided that you get the jest of why I'm tired. 

I spend my days, changing diapers, feeding, directing, redirecting, wiping mouths and bottoms, coloring, cleaning, sweeping, mopping, bathroom breaks, water breaks, cleaning spilled milk and crying over spilled milk...Need I go on.  My work space including the office, activity room, dining area, bathroom and kitchen is smaller than my kitchen and living room together. 

Prayers, I need prayers.  Honestly, this is where I am.  Without making the money that I make at this job, I would have to go back to Georgia.  Again, I know that God gave me the job.  I didn't ask for it. Was it just for a season?  Is there another plan?  I can't see God giving me something that I can physically not do.  I awoke this morning in pain.  I took a muscle relaxer and 3 advil and went back to bed on a heating pad for the back and ice pack for the neck.  I can't enjoy my children on the weekends because I'm too tired.  There's more to the job than I am at liberty to say.  Just pray for wisdom for me for us. 

I need a Silent Night, Holy Night. (by Amy Grant) Yes, that's what I need.


  1. My dear Bonnie. Nothing is worse that waking up still tire and in pain. I'm so sorry for your struggles right now. It takes me back to the time I was your age, and had 4 children, was forced to work out of the home and yet the need to raise our children and do all the duties of a Pastor's wife. I think I was always tired..but my dna and personality kept me moving 90 mph. for years.
    Now I pray for those of you who are still in the middle of it. My DIL has a job very similar to you, and she is always exhausted. We pray for rest in a very unrestful world. Bonnie I will hold you in my prayers and heart, and trust you get some reprieve and rest soon. Hugs

  2. I can understand a bit of how you are feeling, my job has been so overwhelming and so short staffed. It gets very draining. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time - praying.

  3. I am sending you a prayer for respite. Those of us who work im the social service, health care and justice sectors work hard with body and mind.i certainly feel for you. Bless you for what you do.

  4. Sending you a hug! I understand the stress and the tired and yet the need to go on. God give you strength for today and wisdom for the future days. Love you!!

  5. Sending you a lot of hugs and prayers. I simply don't know what to say, so, with that said, remember this Bonnie, the good Lord never gives us something he knows we can't handle; its how we choose to handle things, PERIOD. End of it. Trust in Him, keeping you in prayer.

  6. Hi, I'm new to your blog. I found you through Diana.. My goodness girl, this post made me tired just reading it. No wonder you're exhausted!.. I pray that God gives you the guidance you need at this moment.

  7. My dear friend,
    I send you a big hug and lots of prayers. May God give you strength to handle the challenges, and peace in your heart. : )


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