Sunday, January 21, 2018

I’m Tired From Standing in the Hallway

I’m pretty much stuck in the same place. I spent the entire weekend revamping my resume and applying to more jobs. Indeed is not working for me. I’ve applied to almost 50 jobs and have only gotten two replies and those were denials. I awoke this morning with a UTI, pain and traces of blood in urine. Mr. H went to the pharmacy and got the AZO stuff that turns your urine orange. It sure does help the pain. I needed church badly today but knew it wouldn’t be best. 

I told my boss last week that I would work til March 1, job or no job. I think he’s holding out thinking I will change my mind. I’m so very disappointed that this job wasn’t what I thought it would be or what I was hired to do. I could have been good at marketing if he had allowed me too. 

I’m sad. I thought by now that I would be in full-time ministry. I thought I’d be traveling and teaching women, developing new friendships while sharing the gospel and grace of Jesus. I thought I’d be doing makeovers, both holy makeovers and healthy makeovers but look at me. I need one of both. The idea for a title of my debut book, “Lord, give me a chair. I’m tired from standing in the hallway.”  I feel like I’ve been waiting so long. Have I missed it? Will I miss it? 

Then again I have so many blessings. I have a sweet little place I’m learning to call home. I have a wonderful family with babies I adore. 

They had a ball playing in the snow.


 I have a secret about these, but I can’t tell!






This was my drive to work last week. Scary. But I got there safely.

This is what the weather was like here after the snow. 






Baby girl made snow cream and snowflakes on her days off.

Yes, these faces and their hugs and kisses cheer me up and make my life full and happy.

But still, I need a vision, a new God given dream. Pray for me and let me know how I can pray for you.

10 comments:

  1. I will pray for peace in your job search! I know it is difficult for you! Cute pictures of the snow-babies! Sending HUGS and PRAYERS your way!

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  2. {{{Bonnie}}} Keeping you in prayer.

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  3. Oh- How disappointing, Bonnie. I know it is hard to wait upon the Lord sometimes. I really feel that we are where we are supposed to be at the time we are supposed to be there---but that doesn't always make it easy to accept things the way they are.

    Praying that you soon get some answers to your prayers!! xo Diana

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  4. Oh my dear sweet friend...I hear the anguish coming through in your words and I am so sorry. I do agree with Diana above...it sometimes feels like life doesn't make sense to us and that the dream or vision we have isn't on the same page as God's...or at least in His timing. I will continue to pray for peace and clarity...but mostly peace...we can wait on anything if we have God's peace. I wish I could be there and give you a hug! And I know about your little secret. :D

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  5. And in the meantime, never stop praising Him in the hallway...but you already know that.♥♥♥

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  6. Sending you a hug, my friend! I, too, hear your anguish. I pray peace for you. It's SO hard to desire something so good and yet so out of reach...but God does hear and God does love you and God is with you! Always.
    Wish I was closer....glad our prayers know no boundaries <3

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  7. Bonnie - I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know God has a plan, but it's so hard to wait for it to show, isn't it?
    Your grandbabies are just as cute as ever and such a blessing in your life!
    Praying!

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  8. Dear sweet Bonnie~ my heart also goes out to your in your pain of not feeling your prayers are not being answered. Like King David, and now in the study of Habakkuk. "1:1 How Long, Lord must I call for help, but You do not listen." Keep crying out, keep praying, keep asking. We don't know the answer might be just behind the door, and you can get out of the hallway.
    Sending love and hugs and always prayers.

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  9. Bonnie, I'm so sorry you had a bladder infection. Those are awful. I have been taking Cranberry 1000 for years to prevent them. Your grandchildren are having so much fun in the snow. I have a new grandchild - Jess had a baby girl two months ago, and I love being a grandmother. I do hope you get the job that you want and deserve, and I hope this year brings you peace and much happiness.

    love, ~Sheri

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  10. UTI are awful! I know, I used to suffer with those things all the time. Yuck! But now I take precautions against that. Prayers for your healing. ((HUGS))

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