Sunday, September 24, 2017

Home...a place in the heart.

When we first moved to Nashville, I felt like we were on vacation-pool, new apartment with all new, sparkly appliances and hardware, kids and ice cream whenever I wanted, AM coffee and caramel creamer as much as I liked and a 2-3 hour quiet time.  Hummmm.  The mountain view was perfect.  An outlet mall 15 miles one way and another 30 miles the other way.  Church with no commitment and my chance in 55 years to just "Be." I went to the grocery store and didn't see anyone I knew and it was nice.  Starting over in a place "where NOBODY knew my name,"  (SINGING to the tune of Cheers.)

A therapist once told me, "You've never left home."  With the move, I left home and was experiencing a new kind of freedom.  I heard recently that we all run from home, only to search frantically to find a way back.  Like going on vacation, we long to get away but are so happy to return to the familiar.

About 6 months into the journey, I began to long for home, the familiar, to run into someone I knew at the grocery store, to find a place of community.  I longed to go "where EVERYBODY knows your name."

We bought a new house.  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine a new home or rather, a new "house."  It wasn't "home." Grateful? Yes, but again, it wasn't home. The pictures on the wall were the same, a pink bedroom with my favorite pieces of milk glass and my favorite cabinet full of ironstone.  But. Not. Home.

There was a restlessness in me to go home.  But "home" was no longer there.  Mama and Daddy and the home place were gone and my little home where we raised our children was now occupied with new owners, a new little boy to run the small hall, throw a ball, and shoot hoops.

Please don't get me wrong, the children are home, but God is teaching that I can find "home" in Him alone. Still, holidays are hard.  The weekend of Labor Day the children were busy with children and homes of their own so we decided to leave "home" for a couple of days. 

Just a few miles down the road (an hour's drive), is Burgess Falls State Park. 

There's nothing like the rushing water to calm the restless soul.

We made several stops along the way finding rest in the cleft of a rock.

There was a fence to keep us from falling off the side of the mountain.  I'm telling you, it was scary at times and I'm not usually afraid of heights.  However, I've got to know that I have something or someone who is going to catch me if I fall.

Just when we thought we were almost there, we saw another hill to climb.  I asked a sojourners coming down how close we were.  Her reply, "Oh, not far.  About 1/2 there."  Really?
We could soon see the view from the top. It was breathtakingly beautiful. We began the journey back and the road was even and less rocky.  We relaxed and took a deep breath, we were headed home.
But this!!!  A baby copperhead. 
I learned a little bit on our trip away from home. 
1.  I thought at first that maybe we'd stay near the waters and just enjoy the rest.  Of course, there was more to see, something bigger than we could imagine.  God doesn't want us to stay safe.  Rest is brief and there will be more paths to walk and hills to climb before we get to the top.
2.  It's okay to rest awhile. When the journey gets rocky, he will hide us in the depths of His love and we will know the safety of the Rock.
3.  There will be more hills to climb before we get to the top, and beauty will be beyond what we can comprehend on this journey.
4.  On our journey "home," we must be sober and alert. I did have a thought that maybe there was danger off the path and I didn't dare wander, but when the road seemed easy, I became less careful.  Someone else observed the danger first.  Along the path, we need sojourners who will point out the pitfalls ahead. 
This weekend is our ladies retreat.  I'm so in need of retreat, escape, getaway to relax and regroup, rethink.  That's the RE in retreat, I guess.
My second born granddaughter, is always full of life.  My time now with the babies is less with me working but she drops by occasionally to see me.  She loves talking to our adult care members.  They enjoy her.  This was my birthday so it was an extra special because she came to see me.

David enjoyed Grandparent's Day.  I rarely get to attend any activities with the children during the week.  My job is very demanding, and I wonder sometimes if it's worth it. I love it, and I know that God gave it to me.  It's providing for our needs.  If I had not gotten this job, I imagine we would have been heading back to Georgia.  David was giving our situation until July to change.  I started to work with this new company on July 1.  I have to believe that for now, this is where I belong.  David is still missing "home." It sometimes honestly hurts me that he hasn't found "home" with me and the kids, but he's got to work through it's meaning just like I've had to.
Who can resist this smile?  I mean, really!  This is home to me!

My decorating is minimal these days.  Blogging will be more about the "home" of my heart.  I still try to make it feel like my other home, but this is the new and I'm learning that it's really not a place or a people. It's more what's in the heart, a state of peace...peace with our Father and His family...and of course, mine too.


  1. Bonnie, this was a beautiful post. It is often hard for me to think of the home I grew up in, which is now sold to someone else, and the parents I loved, who are now gone, and find I still miss those familiar feelings. Moving to a new area has to be hard. Enjoy those moments with your family and remember that home is really with those you love. My husband's parents had to move a lot because of a government job and his mom always brought home with them.

  2. We have the same birthday! Yes, this was a beautiful post full of spiritual truths...

  3. Greetings to you from the UK. Good luck to you and your endeavours.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

  4. I read part of this and wondered where it had gone...I see now that you may have hit publish and edited it and published again! Do you remember that song from several years ago by Watermark..."My Heart, Your Home"? The song was actually a the theme song for our retreats...I think it was one that Latan had done for us. Not only does God find His home in those hearts who have invited Him in, we also find that we have made our home in Him. This is such a beautiful post and I love your transparency and the way you share your heart. Have a blessed retreat...I know it will be awesome! Hugs!

  5. Bonnie - you could be leading the retreat with the wisdom you've shared here. So much good stuff!
    Glad you had a little getaway and got to see the kids too. Belated Happy Birthday!

  6. Great post today lady. Enjoyed it. Hugs and blessings, Cindy

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Commenting again. What I meant to say is... It is always nice to hear from you:). I remember you leaving your home down here to be near your family. You are a blessing to your family and all of your new friends up there as well all of your old friends down here. Sending hugs and prayers your way!

  8. I didn't know you moved! That hike looked like a fun adventure (minus the snake)! I haven't done anything like that in a while. Congrats on your new job too! I hope it continues to work out for you. My husband just started his 2nd career this week. It feels weird for him to work full time again. I got used to him being home after he retired a year and a half ago.

  9. Great post!
    Good to see you are happy.

  10. Dear Bonnie ~ A deep and thoughtful post, that reaches all of us no matter where we call home. You've captured what is really's where the Lord dwells.

    Loved sharing your pictures, and you smiles.

    Blessing on you, touch people....and that's a gift.


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