Saturday, August 20, 2016

A Day of Rest and A Brewing Storm

The fair has come to town. 
Since it is the biggest fair in the Nashville area, 
the traffic in the city of Lebanon is horrible!

All the crazies come out!

I've decided to stay in today, 
which I desperately need to do anyway
so that I clean and unclutter some more. 

I don't know why it is, but it 
took me 3 years of not working to 
unwind and realize that I didn't 
have to feel guilty about doing nothing. 

Now that I'm back in the real world, 
I have trouble with doing nothing. 
Since sitting on my porch drinking coffee, 
blogging, reading, and working puzzles 
feels like I'm doing nothing, I feel guilty.

I spent some quiet time this morning, 
doing my Bible study.
That doesn't feel like a do-nothing
so I don't feel guilty.


I watched a storm brewing from a distance.



I felt with it the wind and spray from the rain.
It brought with it a little relief from the heat and humidity.


It moved out as quickly as it came in. 
I've moved inside and the sun is now shining outside my window.

Not all storms come and go as quickly.
Some stay awhile.

I felt like the storm would never lift in the 5 years 
of my parents illness and eventual death. 
Then there was the 3 years of grief that would not heal. 

The move has been good for letting go. 
I've leaned into joy.
Sometimes I become afraid and anxious 
about the inevitability of another storm. 

I pray that the wind of the Holy Spirit 
will lift me above where I'm not tossed here and there
by the winds of anxiety, depression, fear and doubt.

I'm learning but I have a ways to go.



7 comments:

  1. As I started to read this it started pouring badly needed rain. We may very well be getting your leftovers...that happens so much of the time. Yes, it is OK to do nothing at times...I actually probably do it more than I should so I'm giving you permission :) We need that sometimes Bonnie. I am glad that the move has been good for you, Yes, there will other storms, you can be sure they will come..but that's what life is made of...storms and then times of sunshine, and God and his Holy Spirit will be there through it all! Beautiful, heartfelt post, my friend!

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  2. It took me some time after retirement to learn to relax. I always felt that I needed to be doing something or going somewhere. I understand getting over the storms of life. I moved to Tennessee and lived there for 9 months a couple years after my husband passed because I had to get away from all the familiar places and such. I did move back to be near my mother but someday I'll make it back to TN. I'm so thankful that we have God to help us through the storms.

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  3. I understand how you feel about 'doing nothing', even when I am sick I feel the same way. I actually started to clean up my craft area today....for an hour...it rained, then the sun came out, repeat, repeat again.....

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  4. [[Bonnie}}} I hear ya...and its probably safe to say, your not the only one, smiles

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  5. p.s. shameful on your former teacher, SHAMEFUL. I wish I would of saw that....

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  6. I so understand about loss and depression ~ intense storms in our lives. We have to lean on God, as you well know, to make it. I hope you feel stronger each day!

    Please don't worry about doing nothing! You deserve down time and I've found that the "activity police" never do stop by. :) Seriously, I think most women have this feeling of having to be busy ingrained...I know my mother and aunts did. They missed out on so many special moments, conversations and just being in the moment with nature 'cause they had to be busy! I always wanted my mother just to sit down and talk to me...nope, she had to be cleaning, etc. She really missed out on knowing me.

    xo
    Pat

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  7. It's nice to be still once in awhile, Bonnie.....in fact, I think it's necessary to be still, as we can listen, learn, and be at peace. And the Holy Spirit is always there.

    love you, ~Sheri

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