Wednesday, July 15, 2015

What I've Learned Since Leaving Facebook...Really?

I wrote an article for our church newsletter.
Before it was printed, I pulled it.

Because "Yours turly" here was 
having Facebook issues herself.

Friends hurt friends.
Family hurts family.

We say things and see things
that may or may not be there.

It's a sensitive matter, 

Don't we do it?
We compare our likes, comments and followers to other people?
Just like we do in real life but FACE IT,
FACEBOOK is not always real life. 

We know how to paint a beautiful picture. 
I do it too.
Nice family, nice "friends" (and lots of them) nice children, nice car, 
nice home and to the world, everything looks ,,,NICE.

I can even do it here, the safest social media I have, Blogger.

I realized awhile back that no one wanted to read 
the sad, sob stories of "Debbie Downer," so
I added a blog "The Upside of Down,"
 thinking "I can help someone else."
 and my few faithful friends followed.

But do most of us really want to hear it???

Or someone took out the trash.
Thank you...very much..."friend."

Facebook has been hard for me since we moved. 
I see all my friends and family enjoying each other. 
Fun! Fun!  High Fives! Yippee! Woo Hoo!
And I want that, I really do!
But I'm sad, too.

 "Wow, look how everyone is moving forward."
The problem has moved and so we move on!
She's gone, let's party!

Sounds really stupid, huh?

But don't we do that?

There's a verse that God often uses to get my attention here,

"Each one should test his own actions.
Then he can take pride in himself, 
without comparing himself to someone else."
Galations 6:4

So before we post, speak, or vent, 
we should test our own actions, 
make sure our motives are pure and not offensive...
and then test again.

(Hey I'm not even sure I should post this..)
Oh well, 

Who's leaving Facebook?
Did I say I was leaving Facebook?
How many times have you left Facebook?

Nah, just kidding.


  1. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I love the connection it gives me with family and friends in such a quick amount of time, but I hate the time I waste reading it, and some of the political garbage people put out there every day. It is a hard balance. I do agree that it should be a place to connect, but not one of competition. Good luck finding your balance.

  2. I too have a love/hate relationship with FB. It sucks my time from me! I also have on occasion, that little voice that says, "how come she is getting so many comments and I'm not?" Dumb, I know. The same for blogger. I have few followers. I am not trying anymore. This is it. This is me. I may never have a "popular" blog, but that's okay, if only a few respond, it is like a few close friends. Does this makes sense?

  3. We (all three of us) left FB many months ago--maybe a year now? Why? Toxic...back biting, threats and such and that was from family...funny, people will say whatever online but when faced in real time, they don't. I do miss seeing photos of my nephews, but come on, in reality, I have never met them, nor will I (this is family, remember). We have never been in invited to the reindeer games in real life, so really, why be on FB...just saying...I have a new found motto--it goes something like this, if you can't say it to me in person, then don't put it on FB or social media. Just saying...

    Good luck on finding the balance, Bonnie. I/we could never find it. It just got the point where I said (we) said ENOUGH. We allowed people to treat us badly, it was our fault. No more. Blessings sweet friend.

  4. I have family all over the world. We stay connected through Facebook. In fact, we have a private page just for us. As for the junk people post that I don't want to see, I block it, or tell FB I want to see less of what that person posts.
    I'm so thrilled that my worth is not connected to anything/anyone but Jesus! That's not to say that I don't ever forget it and compare myself to stuff. Sigh. It's a constant in the journey. God bless you, my friend! I love your honesty.

  5. I don't do much on Facebook, I read or as some call it "stalk"! Occasionally I will post a picture, like or comment but I don't feel like I have to! It is a way to stay connected with some that we don't see very often! Most people post too much:) Enjoy your day dear friend, sending HUGS and Prayers your way!

  6. I am so sorry you have had such a bad experience with Facebook! For me, Facebook is a wonderful place I visit a few times throughout the day to see what my friends and family are up to. I like to tease and say, "I am the queen of Facebook!" I guess I don't follow the negative people and I do not have or keep friends that are critical and mean. I just don't 'follow' even a member or two of my family because the feel so deeply about some of the current political situations. The only stories on my feed are recipes, status updates of friends and family and funny stories or videos. My kids, sisters and brother are on FB and we keep up with each other very well. I have also found Facebook is a great Prayer Chain! Just recently I posted about my daughter (the mother of my 3 year old grand quads) being seriously ill and immediately felt the power of prayer in our life!
    Don't give up on Facebook! Just tailor it to YOU!!! Do NOT allow others to steal your joy!

  7. Well, you already know what I post on fb...lots of photos! And I do get a lot of enjoyment from connecting with friends and family too. There may be days go by that I don't post anything and there are those others that I post several times a day...especially if I want share what I cooked for supper!! Reconnecting to old friends from my childhood has been such a blessing and I am closer to many of my far-away nieces and nephews and other family than ever before because of our interactions. Yes, every now and then, a friend will share something to their page that I do not feel is appropriate, and therefore it shows up on my feed and mutual friends can see it. I have made myself very familiar with those little > symbols and immediately click and remove anything from my feed that I choose. Facebook actually removed a post with semi-naked men that one of friends my had shared, therefore it was on mine! I hit the > and checked the "not appropriate" box...Facebook removed it completely and I received an email from them tell me it had gone against their policy! I agree with Linda (above)...tailor it to fit your needs. Just like TV, you don't have to watch what you don't want to watch :)

  8. Dear Bonnie.... I would just say "Ditto" to Linda Chapman's comment. She said just what I was thinking. I handle fb the same way, and I hide things all the time...and if that "friend" keeps posting things I think unacceptable...I do unfriend them. I do enjoy seeing what my grandkids are up too.

  9. I've never left Facebook, I'm too addicted! I think I should sometimes because of the time I spend there, but I love the way it lets me keep up with old friends, relatives and even some of the young people from church.
    I have been defriended, actually that happened this week but this person drives me crazy so it's really not a loss, plus she cut a bunch of us out at the same time, so I can't take it personally.
    I have hidden people that are negative, or so liberal I can't take their posts, so that helps my FB be a more positive place.
    I just looked you up on FB and sent a message to your other folder.

  10. I have a love/hate relationship with Face Book. I left completely once but later my daughter talked me into getting on it again to keep in touch with my grandchildren's lives and those of my kids. I'm back but only have friended immediate family. I have a couple of family members I hide for various reasons. I'd be very happy to drop it once again. It would be a relief, I think. Love your post!

  11. Bonnie, I don't have facebook, and I'm sorry to hear you've had issues on it before. Love your new blog design, and I just put you on my post with all the others, my friend.

    love, ~Sheri

  12. I like the bloggers on here. That is the truth. Facebook I do feel it is not what it cuts out to be when I first joined it.

    I keep on face book for my family in message and close friends not on the wall as much. I liked what you wrote. God Bless you!

  13. Facebook is a two-edged sword, a love/hate relationship. I wrote a newspaper column about my pet peeves regarding Facebook, but I still enjoy certain aspects of it. I don't spend a lot of time there, usually post every few days. I customize my news feed, based on the people I want to see most of, and I never accept friend requests from people I don't know either personally, professionally, or through family. I have blogger friends on Facebook, and though we've never met I consider them to be friends.

    I agree that family can really hurt each other on Facebook and I've never understood people who use a public forum to share private matters. I just don't get it.

  14. here! I just put Facebook on time out today, myself. I so get this. :)

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