Roses Will Bloom Again...Again

I used this title once before when I was writing about my parents.

The song was written by a friend of a friend

and recorded several years ago by Jeff and Sheri Easter.

I need reminding today that Roses Will Bloom Again.

I got a call yesterday morning from a friend asking me to pray 

for another friend who was in ICU and on a ventilater.

I had taken a facebook break and had no idea what was going on back home. 

It didn't look good...she's had you on her mind for several days...heart attack...

TTP...bone marrow test...

Everything just kinda ran together.  My thoughts were rambled.

"What do you think I should do?"

"Give her daughter a call."

My connection with Shirley was a brief one in the span of eternity.

She worked around the corner from me.  She owned a jewelry shop

and I loved to visit on my lunch hour.  She had a young daughter the age of mine.

They went to different schools.

She helped me choose my daughter's first charm bracelet.

Shop closed and we frequently ran into each other at Walmart,

the only place in town to shop.

...

Our kids enter middle school.

Our lives merge again.

Briefly, nevertheless connected for a moment.

...

High School Theatre

Enter "Frenchie" and "Sandy."

For those years, we never missed a rehearsal, never missed a show, 

never missed it!!!

We talked and laughed and the director had to call us down a time or two, 

a lasting connection.

Shirley said, "Does it get any better than this?"

I know, right?

Watching our girls whom we love better than life, 

do what they love better than life!

They were Bigger than LIFE!

Graduation, babies, infertility and we'd frequently run into each in Walmart.

"How's Miriam?"

"How's Christy?"

"Were those years not the best???"

"The best!"

Fast Forward 2015

Washington County High School 

Theatre Reunion

Frenchie and Sandi are reunited.

I'm making my way out of the theatre at the last show.

I hear someone call my name!

Big Smile.  Big Hug.

"Missed you."

"Missed you."

"Was this not the best! Does it get any better than this?"

"Never!"

A brief conversation with her daughter.

"Oh, Mrs. Bonnie, thank you so much for calling.

We were talking about you a few days ago."

On the vent...so she can rest...sweet, sweet girl

who loves the Lord and loves her mama.

"Can I pray with you?"

I have no idea what I said.  It honestly felt like empty words spoken.

I even told the Lord that!

Teach Sunday School.  Asked the class to pray. I left early with that nagging pain 

and decided that maybe I just needed to be home so I could pray.

I prayed, felt nothing.  Told the Lord that!

In the middle of the prayers, I get a text...

"She's gone."

What???

My thoughts are all over the place. 

You were thinking of me?

A brief connection can last a lifetime.

Why in those final moments did she think of me?

I can't wrap my mind around it. 

"Be still, my soul and know that He is God."

Bonnie

(I'm bringing out my pink roses for sure!)

A Wonderful Weekend: A Baby Shower

It was a weekend of wonderfuls...

A wonderfully special time with my girl.

I don't know that I've ever seen my baby girl

more happy or more beautiful.

Sure makes for one happy mama.

Gifts

Bows

Flowers

(The flowers were made of onsies, 

footies and bathclothes.) 

Ribbons and Lace

Clothes

More Clothes

a few of a girl's favorite things.

The food was pretty and delicious. 

It was quite a spread.  

We ate...

we drank...

and, we were merry:)

My daughter-in-law had worked so hard 

and had to leave.

She got a call that her Papaw, 

who had suffered a stroke this week,

had taken a turn for the worse. 

Sometimes we laugh together, sometimes we cry.

This day we did both.

Please keep her family in your prayers. 

Many friends and family have walked this journey along beside us.

So many were there to cry with us, 

pray for us, 

and walk beside us. 

We prayed and waited with others

as others prayed and waited with us. 

No one will ever know the prayers prayed 

by the moms of this pretty girl.

I never gave up hope.  

Just once?

No, not ever.
A mama hangs on with strong, stubborn faith,
believing in what seems impossible.  

My sister was MY support.

She was ever interceding.
At times, I thought my heart would burst into pieces
but I'd call my sister.  I knew she'd take it to the feet of Jesus.

Read their story of infertility here.

God makes beauty from ashes.

A wife lost a husband,
two children lost their dad
and four grandchildren lost a Papa.

Troy lost an uncle,
 his mom lost a brother.

Unexpected,  

Questions, yes.
Somethings we will never understand.

A new baby brings joy in the midst of pain.

These girls made music together.

These days they dance to the tune 

of little ones.

This baby girl has stolen my heart.

This little man makes me laugh.

Can't wait to see what they think of our newest little angel.

2+1=3

Three times a BonBon!

Ten Books That Influenced My Life the Most

Recently, I was asked to name

ten books that have influenced my life the most.

Now, I'm an avid reader 

and I read just about anything.

That is, when Ms. Callie doesn't get in my business.

All I need is a good cup of coffee

and I can read forever.

As you can tell, I'm a big Nicholas Sparks fan. 

He's the kind of writer that mixes in 

a little romance, family and a deeper message

than what appears on the surface.

His books are what I call easy reading,

the kind I read at the beach. 

I read alot of suspense and mystery, 

drama and action,

and books about the CIA and FBI.

Although reading those books is fun, 

they don't give me inspiration.

The following books have challenged and inspired 

me to live a life worthy of my calling

that is in Christ Jesus, my Lord. 

1. The Bible- I hid God's Word in my heart as a young child and the Holy Spirit uses it to remind me of His promises, His comfort, His help, and His love. 
2. Jesus Calling, Sarah Young- This book was given to me during one of the darkest moments of my life.  It's a go-to book when I need to hear God speak through His Word and I don't know where to begin to look.
3. Is it Spiritual Warfare? This has taught me that when there are problems with people that it is not against flesh and blood but against the powers of the dark, evil world.  
4. Believing God, Beth Moore-This challenged me to live a life of faith and to come boldly to the throne to ask anything in His name. 
5. I Love the Word Impossible, Ann Kiemel Anderson-Challenged me to love youth and inspired me to actively teach and live love by caring for the teen that noone else wants to reach.
6. Forgotten God, Frances Chan-Wow!  Through this book, I learned much about the Holy Spirit and began to see His active role in my live today.
7. The Shack, William Paul Young-Helped me understand the personalities of the Triune God.
8. The Five Love Languages-This is one that I've just finished teaching our career class.  It has helped me to understand and and appreciate the language that others speak, especially within relationships. 
9. Streams in the Desert, L. B. Cowan-A classic devotional book for encouragement during the storms.
10. God Loves Broken People, Sheila Walsh-I have lived in brokenness the past five years, losing both parents, Christy and Troy's sickness and infertility, finding my idenity without my parents and children.  I have found that there is hope and transformation even when life is at its darkest.

Grab a mug of coffee or tea

and read along with me. 

Tell me, what do you read?

Bonnie:)

We're Having A Baby!!!

I know I'm blogged all day,
three posts.
Since I'll be sitting with my little lady tomorrow,
I can't wait to share our news!

Surprise Reveal

WE'RE HAVING A BABY!

The journey has been a long one.

This mama's heart has ached with pain so intense that 

I felt it would tear out of my chest.

It's what mamas do. 

We hope, we pray, we believe

and when God doesn't answer like we pray He will, 

we cry for the pain of our children.

But now we celebrate NEW LIFE!

I saw our little one today on sonogram.

She's beautiful or HE.

She's 11 weeks and our baby is moving it's little arms and legs

and all is well. 

You can read more about their journey here...

IVF Journey
and here
Infertility

Our tears have turned to joy and we are thankful.

Troy and Christy share their news...

We’ve thought long and hard about how to announce that we are expecting, and our words have fallen short. We are thankful for the friendships, prayers, counsel, and support that have sustained us through these last few years of infertility. We are thankful that God is not good because we got good news; rather, He is good because of His love and grace in our lives, even when we couldn’t feel it. We are thankful for doctors who are skilled and research that has led to amazing p...rocedures like IVF which was the right step for our family. We are thankful that we have something to celebrate today when we have found it difficult to hope for a long time. We are thankful for the opportunity to breathe in the good news of today while breathing out the worries and fears that sometimes creep in. Yet, even when we forget to breathe, we are thankful that it’s ok to question sometimes too. We are thankful that we can open ourselves up to the joys of parenthood without forgetting our journey up to this point. We are thankful for many of you - thank you for walking this path with us.
See More

 

Thankful for a God who Walks WITH Us

I'm sorry that I haven't been able to check in and read your blogs the past week.  I will be home on Wednesday to catch up.

I attended the most beautiful service yesterday at Providence Community Church in Mt. Juliet, TN. The United Methodist Pastor,  Jacob Armstrong is very personable and intentional about reaching out to those who are hurting.

I'll be honest, it's not been easy for me to attend a Mother's Day service since my mama passed away 4 years ago.  I am usually with my children at the beach.  I've tried to concentrate on the blessings of being a mom myself and enjoying my children and pushed away any thoughts of my mama.  It was just too hard.  The only reason that I went to the service was to stand beside my daughter who sat with an empty heart and hands and nervous anticipation of what was just around the corner.

The message was not the typical Mother's Day sermon.  After all, who are we really there to worship? It bothers me today how so much emphasis is put on everything else, from the worship team to the pastor, to the children, to the youth and to the recipients of those for whom we celebrate.
(I will share his message at a later day which was very timely for me.)

My daughter saw the carnations and thought, "Oh, no not another one!"  However, his approach was different.  He honored all women at the end of the service with first a reading by Amy Young. Two girls on the praise team read the following:

To those who gave birth this year to your first child-we celebrate with you.
To those who lost a child this year-we mourn with you.
To those who are in the trenches with little ones everyday and wear the badge of food stains, we appreciate you.
To those who experienced loss by miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away, we mourn with you.
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears and disappointment, we walk with you.  Forgive us when we say foolish things.  We don't mean to make this harder than it is. 
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, or spiritual moms, we need you.
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children, we celebrate with you.
To those who have disappointment, heartache and distance with your children, we sit with you.
To those who lost their mothers this year, we grieve with you.
To those who encountered abuse at the hands of your mother, we acknowledge your experience.
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood, we are better for having you in our midst.
To those of you who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children, we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be. 
To those who step parent, we walk with you on this complex path.
To those who envisioned lavishing love on your grandchildren yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you.
To those who will have emptier nests in the coming year, we grieve and REJOICE with you.
To those who placed children up for adoption, we commend you for your selflessness and remember now that you hold that child in your heart.
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expecting or surprising, we anticipate with you.
This Mother's Day, we walk with you.  Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst.  We remember you.

Read more of Amy Young's blog at www.messymiddle.com.

At the end of the service, Pastor Jacob asked the ladies to come up and pick a carnation-red for those who still had their mothers and white for those whose mothers are no longer with us.  Those flowers were placed on the altar.  Afterwards, we were given the bread and the wine remembering the ONE for whom we derive our name, Jesus.  Pastor Jacob then prayed.  It was moving.  I looked at my daughter. Tears of comfort were streaming down her face as I looked with blinded, flood filled eyes.

My heart rejoices in a God who sees, who understands, who cares and a community who is willing to walk WITH us on whatever journey life may bring.

My son't birthday was yesterday,  We was my favorite Mother's Day present of all time.

I can still smell my mama's signature scent, White Shoulders.

Bonnie:)

ann kiemel: Excerpt: "I'm Out To Change My World" Ann Kiemel...

ann kiemel: Excerpt:  "I'm Out To Change My World"  Ann Kiemel...: Excerpt:  "I'm Out To Change My World"  Ann Kiemel, 1974 June one day a girl came in on her bicycle. she had another frie..



I am sitting her crying after reading about Ann Kiemel Anderson's death.  I started reading her books in 1975.  As a young teenager, I wanted to be Ann.  She was a simple young woman, with a simple message that she shared everywhere she went.  She, like me, was a Nazarene PK who simply wanted to share Jesus.  I read every book she ever wrote.  I went to see Ann in Augusta, GA in 1978.  I started my own Ann Kiemel/Jesus crusade, knocking on doors of young people and inviting them to know Jesus.  At the time, our youth group went from 35 to about 50 in only a few months.  I wrote her a couple of times and I got back hand-written notes.  I followed her journey as she shared her desire to be married as she candidly shared her desire for intimacy and longing to be loved completely and all the temptations that come with those God-given desires.  I followed her as she found Mr. Right.  I followed her as she struggled to have children with one miscarriage after another and the depression and addiction that followed.  I followed her as her mother faced Alzhiemer's Disease and she lost her preacher-daddy.  Somewhere along the way, I lost touch.  Tonight I couldn't sleep and I decided to look her up.  She died last month.  I am so saddened by this.  If there every was a young woman who made a difference, it was Ann.  She had a world of disappointments and heartaches and the Christian world was often harsh and condemning.  I pray that she found peace, however I know that she knows REAL PEACE as she is now safe in the arms of Jesus.



Ann, I loved you.  You were the first young woman that I desired to emulate.  Thank you for making a difference in my life.



Bonnie



Her books can be found on Amazon.  My favorite is I'm Out to Change My World.  Others include Hi! I'm Ann, Stronger, I Love the Word Impossible (my other favorite), First Love (about her father's death and her struggle with addiction).  There's another one about her infertility and miscarriages.  I can't think of the name of that one. 

Lord, Teach Me to Stand

We are in a war!

Our struggle is not against flesh and blood.

As Christians, our struggle is against the powers 

of the dark world.

I am studying the book, 

"Lord, Is It Warfare? Teach Me to Stand."

by Kay Arthur

Over the past 3 years, I have picked up

the book many times, only to lay it down again.

Each time I've tried to study it, I would 

face the enemy in a way that is hard to explain.

Instead of putting on the armor and pushing 

through, I fell back in retreat.

"Finally , be strong in the Lord and in the power of His mighty power.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand

against the devil's schemes.  For our struggle is not

against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the

authorities, against the powers of this dark world

and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Ephesians 6:10-13

We all face struggles everyday.

That's life.

But how do we know when it is spiritual warfare?

I awoke one morning to the words

"Satan, has asked that He may sift you as wheat..."

I went on to face one of the greatest battles that I had 

ever fought before.

A year or so ago, God spoke to me, 

"You will not have to fight this battle, you need only to be still."

I knew a storm, a sweet word for a battle,

was brewing.

The past few years, 

I lost both parents and watched them suffer, 

one quietly, one with questions, fears and doubts.

My son-in-law had cancer
and my daughter and her husband
have fought infertility.

Both of our children
have had miscarriages.

My husband and myself faced health issues
with insurmountable doctor bills.

I have been without a job
and our credit is shot.

I've had my faith shaken to the core.

I became disillusioned with the church.

I encountered a dark world of depression.

I fought the enemy in dreams and visions in the night.

I walked in fear instead of faith.

There was misunderstanding upon misunderstanding 

between me and family members and friends.

 I resigned all my positions in the church that 

my daddy started and Satan said, 

"No one cares."

I faced a secret temptation of the mind

that no one knew about but God.

Attacked on every side

from within and without.

This, my friend, is spiritual warfare.

Read Ephesians 6:14-18.

The past week, 

I have stayed in the Word.

I have prayed without ceasing.

I know Satan's end.

He does not win!

I highlighted the Scripture that spoke of Satan's end 

and said them aloud.  

When faced with Spiritual Warfare, 

Remind Satan of this...

Christ has rescued us from the dominion of darkness.

(We have been saved and protected by the power of Christ.)

(Colossians 1:13)

When Christ went to the cross, He disarmed all powers 

and authorities of darkness and made a public 

spectacle of them triumphing over them.

(As Children of the Most High God, we have the power

to demolish the strongholds! (2 Corinthians 10:2-6) 

The prince of the world (Satan) will be driven out.

(We know his end!)

(John 12:31)

Jesus destroyed the power of death-that is the devil.

(Hebrews 2:14)

Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil.

(1 John 3:8)

Remember Satan is a liar and the father of lies. 

He comes to steal, kill and destroy.

Jesus came to give LIFE and LIFE more abundantly.

When faced with a battle, remember THE WORD OF GOD

is your offensive and defensive weapon.

Read it, memorize it, speak it!

The mind is a battlefield.

We have been given divine power 

to fight the enemy.  Take captive every thought 

and make it obey Christ.

(2 Corinthians 10:3-6)

We're in a battle. 

I'm with ya, sista!

But, praise God, we know who wins!

Prayers for You, 

Bonnie:)

Update on IVF

The IVF Journey Begins

This post was written in January and I wanted to repost as a reminder to pray for my baby girl and her husband.  I know I have asked many, many times as I have brought this before the Lord many, many times. 

I had a dream after my mama died.  We had already been praying for several years.  I dreamed that my mama was there as was I and my daughter and her little girl with blond curly hair and blue eyes.  I can see her as vividly now as I did in my dream.  

When Christy was just 2 or 3 years old, my mama gave her a little rag doll.  Christy carried it around until the hair was falling off.  Mama had written, "Nanny" on one foot and "Granddaddy," on the other foot.

In the dream, Mama said, "I wish you would look at that! (that was mama's expression about everything) She's playing with that doll just like her mama did."  That was confirmation to me and from that moment on, I have never doubted.

The apron was made for Christy by my mama 

because she wanted one "just like Nanny."

One day our granddaughters will play house

and these will be tucked away until then.

Next week will be the second week of injections

with a second shot added.

On Friday, she will have a trial embryo transfer.

So far, the meds have not made her sick,

just tired.

She works and is in her masters program.

So, she has a lot going on.

Please pass this along to your friends for prayer.  

Bonnie:)

I will be visiting my newest granddaughter in a couple of weeks.

Our Connor man is adjusting nicely 

and Cora is a perfect baby, only waking for feedings.

Hope to share new photos soon. 

Today, I need to share my heart.

You, my blog friends, have

become my prayer partners, 

for which I am so thankful.  

Most of you know,

how long we have been praying for a baby,

6 years. 

I'm so ready to see this smile again-

ready to see my baby girl laugh like she once did,

ready to see that twinkle in her eye again.

Ready to see her celebrate again,

Ready for her heart to sing again,

Ready to see the craziness,

Ready to see this incredible love
shared with a child.

(This was taken when our Connor man, her brother's baby,
was born.)

Ready to have her experience 

the love and joy that is beyond 

any love she has ever known.

Praying that the arms that have held others, 

will one day very soon, 

hold their own.

If being a good husband is any indication 

of what kind of daddy he will be, 

this man will be the best!

Cancer could not claim him

and neither will infertility defeat him!

After 7 IUIs and a miscarriage, 

they will finally start 

the IVF process this week-

one step at a time.

On Wednesday, she will start birth control, 

as crazy as that sounds, 

to start a new cycle.

She and Troy will both

start on antibiotics. 

(Don't ask me why!)

She will have her own personal

fertility nurse who will be 

with her through the entire process.

She's afraid of so many things,

afraid it won't take,

afraid it will take and

afraid of loss,

afraid of what people will say, 

afraid of what people won't say, 

afraid of looks of pity, 

afraid of looks of excitement-
just afraid.

Today her emotions are all over the place, 

Troy is off on business, 

and I'm six hours away.

I say, 

"I will come."

She says, 

"I'll be okay."

So Jesus, 

will you give her peace while she waits.