Monday, September 5, 2016

Junk Yard Therapy

I'm struggling with the comparison game again. 
You know the game we play where 
everyone else is more talented, smarter, more creative,
more beautiful, skinnier, more fit,
has more, does more, anything-more???

I think we ladies all have that tendency.

However, I have met super-confident ladies. 
I guess they really are that self-assured, 
or maybe they are hiding behind a fascade, 
or maybe they have already been on the journey
I'm on and have overcome. 

I want to be an overcomer. 

I really do.
I judge myself most by lack of knowlege and education,
even more so than I do weight and fitness. 

When I was a junior in high school, I was told by a teacher, 
"You have a 3rd grade IQ."
Talk about damaging. 

I tell people this and they say, 
"You know better than that!"
Do I really?
I was tested.
A mean a test is everything, right?
At least that's how they judge our children, right?

Now that I am older, I struggle with issues of memory.
Since Mama had Alzhemiers, every time I can't remember something,
lose my keys, can't remember what I've told my children
and what I haven't, repeated myself like she did,
my mind immediately goes there.

I've discovered a book, 
Without Rival,
that I hope will help me work through some of these issues. 

I pray. 
I really do. 
I'm being vunerable here. 
It's that other me that nobody sees. 

But on a better note, 
I went out this weekend to a "Barn Sale."

I was so disappointed. 
I was expected a "barn" and all I got was a "booth."

It's okay, because I enjoyed the trip.
Even though I did lose my purse, bug spray and phone. 
I had dropped them out of Harper's stroller
and somebody found them.
I guess that wasn't a memory issue, 
but I still felt stupid. 

Here are some photos that I took-
not good photos, but fun!

The chair is my favorite in this-

Aw! Cute!

Another rusty-crusty chair and cinderella pumpkin. 
Is $14 for a pumpkin a good deal?
I didn't know, so I didn't get. 
I'll probably get sorry.

Corn stalks and vegetable baskets remind me of Fall. 
It was a nice 60 degrees that morning. 

This was my favorite of all, 
a farm table, a galvanized bucket 
and most of all, the place settings. 

I absolutely love this!
I wish I had that brown transferware!

Oh, I loved this too!
But, no can do to $35!

So, when I'm playing the comparison game, 
I do junk yard therapy.

Thanks for listening.
I am not fishing for compliments 
as one of my "friends" would tell me.

We all need a listening ear without judgement, 
don't you agree?


  1. Oh Honey, you hit the nail on the head! I could have written this! I think I need that book you spoke of. I don't have a junk yard to visit today...just blog land!

  2. I think we all have times when we feel we are not as good as others - it's just a part of life. But, don't ever believe it. You have so many friends in blogland and I always enjoy reading your blog. Glad you found a sale to go to. That always lifts my spirits for sure!

    Have a great day!


  3. Friends are those who listen but don't always give their opinion. I really have no opinion because I'm right there with you. How sad that the high school teacher told you that. So often we carry the hurtful words that others have said over us and it can be devastating. Even if the remark was not meant to be hurtful, it can still do damage. Coincidentally, I just saw a Dr. Suess quote on Face Book.
    "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."
    We are all created unique. Hugs.

  4. That is a good price for a Cinderella pumpkin. We bought one last year for about the same price...let me tell you something, Bonnie...I called my parents to check on them because of the Hurricane Thursday and my mother let into me how I have no business going back to school and how dare I leave home and leave my husband and son (next August) to go to school...and how stupid I am and once again reminded how I will never amount to nothing...

    Let me tell you something, Bonnie...your a good mom and a good wife and overall good egg (did that make you smile?) NEVER EVER think otherwise. You, my friend, are a gem...just saying...smiles. Love ya.

  5. Oh, how we all play that game. I work with all young teachers and they catch on to all the tech things ten times faster than I do. Every day I feel old and slow by comparison. We need to focus on the things we do well. You seem to be kind to your family and friends and have a good Christian heart. That's what matters in my book!

  6. Bonnie, You are an awesome person and never think less of yourself. You are a child of God. Honestly we women can tear ourselves down without any outside help....don't you think honey? We can't all be the smartest, the prettiest or most clever one in the crowd. So let's take turns, okay. Who wants to be the same. LOL. I love the photos you took...and the ideas are great. I am going to do that little pumpkin in cup display for sure. Oh if you miss place your keys, it's's when you do not know they are keys...maybe go see the doctor then. Bless you, xoxo, hugs for sure girl, Susie

  7. I think our blogs should be a place where we can write and share what's on our hearts... Lord knows I've done my share of it, especially about what we've been through with Aaron. But what I have found out is that by doing so, people who would have never known to pray and I firmly believe that the added prayers of folks who don't even know him (or me, for that matter) prayed and he is a living testimony about the power od that prayer! don't ever apologize for sharing your heart, Bonnie...your vulnerability is what drew me to your blog. If it's too much info for some, they don't have to read it! You are much too hard on yourself (as I am at times) but you are a beautiful godly woman who is a child of the ONE TRUE KING!

    I love these rusty, crusty vintage things too but like you, only if they have a cheap price tag! I am already planning and Pinteresting our farmhouse in Adam's meadow....Lord willing, of course! :)

  8. We do need a listening ear, bloggers are good at listening without judging:) I also love to go junk shopping, I say it is therapy! Have a blessed day dear friend, HUGS!

  9. I never thought I could go to college. We had this weird reading systems school. Three different levels. You watched a video or story. The you took the test on which level you were reading at. I didn't do well on the top level where all my friends were at. If I tested in the second level I would ace it. Math and foreign languages I did awful. Business level courses were easy. I went back to college in my thirties and did amazing.
    I can't believe your teacher said that to you.
    I think I finally don't have that feeling that I need to be better. It sure took meanwhile.
    So many bloggers aren't personal . I would rather read from someone that writes from her heart. Hugs

  10. Bonnie dear so sorry you are feeling this way-- I went through this same thinking at your age. My mother had Alzheimer's, every time I miss placed something I was sure I
    had it,every time I forgot- I had it. God has shown me as I have gotten older I must live in the moment not
    looking back or not looking in the future. And not comparing my self to what I think other women are. God tells us to look to older women as examples not women your age group. Believe me they are struggling with their mind set also.
    Hugs, God hears your prayers just relax and the Holy Spirit is in you.

  11. Yes... We all struggle with the comparison game at some point in our lives☺ Love all those pretty things! Hope you are having a great day ♥

  12. Oh I so totally know what you mean! There is some saying something along the lines of "comparisons are odious" and yes, that is true, but if you are someone who cannot help but feel that you are not what others are that is so easier said than done. I always feel that I am never as "good" as anyone else and it is tough. However, I work on the fake it till you make it way of thinking. Still faking it and still haven't made it, but I try. I hope your troubles will ease. Hugs to you. xx

  13. I get you...totally get you!! I struggled in school, had to try way harder than my friends just to get a B. My lack of a college education was something I'd avoid in conversation when I was an Activity Director. Teaching a class to all new staff was fine until it involved RN's and top administration staff!! Then I felt totally unworthy. God bless you for being so honest with us today...I love you for it!!
    Love old stuff too. Most of my stuff was from family which I'm thankful for. As much as I love the white pumpkin, I couldn't pay that much for it....that's just me :)
    Bless you today, Bonnie!

  14. Yes, we all need a listening ear, Bonnie. And I am listening to you, my friend. Please try not to compare yourself to others. You are one of a kind, you are special, and you are loved. Shopping is always fun to get our mind off things, even if we don't buy anything. :)


  15. We are Unique. And the Lord never made junk. So love you that God has beautifully made.
    I am enjoying your blogs. I will be back.

    Blessings Bonnie To-day!


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