Sunday, September 30, 2012


It's the typical melancholy kinda Sunday evening.
Sunday evenings are always hard for me.
Before Mama got sick, she made breakfast every Sunday night after church.
We didn't have to wait for her to ask.
The kids said, "We're going to Nanny's."
And we did.
After she was admitted to the nursing home,
every Sunday evening I did a smaller version of what she did.
Yes, Daddy learned to like the frozen biscuits just as well
with of course, cane syrup.
As his diabetes got out of control and I began to monitor his blood sugar,
I would often hide the syrup and say I had forgotten to buy it.
In the end, when he was so grief-stricken that he could hardly eat,
I'd get out the syrup.
Remember Mary Poppin's, "Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down."
...And the sugar go up!
I attended a memorial service today
given by Hospice Advantage
 to celebrate the life of those loved and lost.
It was beautiful!
Grief is personal. 
I loved how the Chaplain acknowledged pain.
He said he had known a lady who grieved the loss of her mother for 9 years.
In the Lord, she found healing.
He in no way, minimized her years of pain. 
He simply said that it is okay to grieve
and healing would come.
I went to hear a friend sing, "No More Night."
I was comforted and encouraged beyond words.
I told someone the other day, "It's been two years.  I should be over my grief."
He said, "Who says?"
Yeah, "Who says?"
I don't want my grief to define me,
but I don't want to ever forget the pain either.
I hope that I am forever changed by my loss.
I hope that because I have been comforted, I can in turn comfort others.


  1. I love the way you write. There's a book in you...somewhere! I'm sure of it.

    Thinking of you today and your loss. Tomorrow is my mom's 78th bday. I remember when she was 28. I feel old.

    My guy has 6 weeks left of class. Can you hear me screaming out in JOY?

    Trust me...I'm a screaming fool!

    Love you~R

  2. such a sweet attitude to want to help others

  3. You said it perfect! Grief doesn't end. I think of my parents each day after almost 15 years being without them. Thank you for sharing your touching words! xo's Pam

  4. Bonnie, My mother passed away unexpectedly just before Christmas 1989. It took a year for me to begin to feel normal, to smile. Autumn is my favorite time of year, and the most difficult. I will always feel my mother's hand on my shoulder and voice in my ear. As the years pass things become easier, but we never forget. Hugs!


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